The Polls are Open!!

Good Day Subscribers,

As you may have noticed, the CSM election process is now in its final stage, that in which YOU, spaceboat commander, have to vote.

The Late Nite News ™, being the unofficial official newsletter of Late Night Alliance, would like to unofficially endorse the alliances unofficial candidate, whom is officially Hans Jagerblitzen.

Why?

Is it his anorexic homicidal clown look?

Not really.

It’s mainly his desire to represent that one segment of New Eden’s population that has long remained silent, ignored and hopeful: Lowsec and it’s wonderful cast of denizens.

So…

Vote Hans. Do it for the children.

Hans For CSM7: Pew we can Believe In.

My Night with Shalee

Hi there,

First of all, I would like to present myself to my loyal fanbase: I am Sneaky Noob, Editor-in-Chief and Senior Correspondant of the The Late Nite News ™, the premier Faction Warfare Newsletter.

Recently I approached the lovely Mistress Lianee of the Imperial Crusade about the possibility of getting interviewed for her Sovereignty Wars site as part of my triumphal return to Faction Warfare. She graciously agreed and we had a very pleasant chat yesterday evening…

Read the entire interview here, only on Sovereignty Wars

Late Nite News Flash

Hello Readers, Followers, Trolls and General Malcontents!

No real action to report today, since the Amarr seem to have surrendered late US-TZ again (they always do this after the winter holidays).

There is however, some news: Late Night Alliance is now ONE MONTH OLD, and as such, we here at The Late Nite News ™ will be showcasing one of their corporations each month on the anniversary.


KA POW POW INC.

Ka Pow Pow Inc (K.POW), also known as KPP, was founded by former Ice Fire Warriors capusleer Manos Kdo on November 13th 2011 as a haven for the more piratical/soapboxing/trollish pilots of the US and Australian timezones.

Initially composed only of Manos and a couple of his alter egos, KPP soon became the home of other notable Minmatar Faction Warfare veterans such as LP McDuffs, Shoog and Sneaky Noob. KPP soon became notorious as free-for-all pilots with no engagement rules other than “shoot it as many times in the middle of the face until it dies or you die”. The desire for combat soon caused KPP pilots to engage anything that was in space, and the collective security status of the corporation soon was in free fall.

The piratical nature of KPP soon brought it to odds with some other organizations of low-security space, such as Electus Matari, who to this day have KPP tagged as a “pirate corp” and will openly engage them in space, and Autocannons Anonymous (now a member of Late Night Alliance along with KPP). While KPP are open and up-front about the free-fire policy they follow, they claim that since they are meerly privateers and that any and all vessels transiting in low-security space are valid targets, no questions asked.

Along with their loose rules of engagement, KPP also opted to break the paradigm of home stations that had ruled Factional warfare for years previously and moved into the Amarr system of Huola. Basing out of this system gave the KPP pilots incredibly fast response time to Crusader fleets being formed in Huola or other Bleak Lands systems. They were soon followed by other corporations suck as Ice Fire Warriors and Valkyr Industries, who began basing out of Huola and it’s neighbor system of Kourmonen.

This animosity with some of the more established militia corps and pro-Republic groups was only exacerbated when KPP decided to provide sanctuary to some of the greatest combat pilots the warzone has ever known: Galdornae and Muskells. Former Imperialists, Gald and Musky were notorious capsuleers that for years had been fighting the Matari militia corporations. Due to changes in the compostion of the Amarr militia they soon disovered that they identified themselves more with the pilots they fought rather than their fellow militia members. With the joining of the Gald and the Musk, KPP quickly shot up the charts as one of the top Matari Factional Warfare corporations.

Since then KPP has always been at the vanguard of action and has slowly absorbed additional pilots, such as ex-Amarr Susan Black and ex-AUTOZ Mo22oh. KPP has also been at the forefront of the spead of the Blinky Red Philosophy, which states that piracy is an excellent option to non-piracy, mainly cause everyone shoots pirates. And getting shot is fun.

  • Founder and CEO: Manos Kdo
  • Home system: Huola
  • Catchphrase: “Here at Ka Pow Pow”
  • Signature Fleet Comp: The Mongos - A Small-gang (less than 5 pilots) of self-repping suicide battleship fleets.
  • Notable Pilots: Manos Kdo, LP McDuffs, Sneaky Noob, Galdornae and Muskells.
  • Favorite Target: All of them.
  • Mascot: The Puffin and/or Mo22oh.

Video made by Susan Black, aka The Female of Ka Pow Pow, for alliance-mate Hans Jagerblitzen.

And she was afraid I would troll her… this is an awesome vid. Watch it. Enjoy it.

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Editor’s Comment:

I usually try and stay away from political issues, as I am an non-conformist and have little time for soft politics. However, I actually think you all should seriously consider voting for Hans.

Why?

Lowsec has been abandoned by CCP and by the greater playerbase for years. It needs a slap across the face with a trout. Same with Faction Warfare. Hans is someone who knows both areas well and more than anything else has the desire to make his home in EVE better for him and for everyone else that lives in lowsec.

In addition, he is humble and listens to others when they talk. He’s a team player. Those two factors alone make him an excellent addition to any team and the CSM needs more people like him.

Be Smart. Vote Hans for CSM7.

That is all.

Sneaky Noob, Editor-in-Chief of The Late Nite News ™

Late Night News: Battle Report - NOIR gets lowsec’d

Hello Readers and Followers of the most awesome of all the awesome newsletters, blogs and random written things about Faction Warfare!!

We have a special battle report (albeit one day late) from out front-line correspondent/chief editor Sneaky Noob concerning a capital ship engagement in the system of Kamela.

Details are not sketchy as Sneaky was directly involved in the planning, fighting and looting of the engagement.

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Noir Mercenary Group. Once one of the most feared mercenary alliances in New Eden, in recent years Noir has been eclipsed by such the rise of sov-less nullsec freelance alliances. They remain however, respected PvPer’s and are known to occasionally roam into lowsec and nullsec in search of the ellusive “goodfight”.

No, they aren’t. And not, they don’t. What happened? Well that’s what we are here for:

It all began late into the evening, with few targets to engage and the urge to PI running strong in the veins of The LateNite Fleet ™, Huola NPC customs offices started going “kablooie”. Of course, The LateNite Fleet ™ is never without an eye in other systems for the all important squirrel! moments.

As is often the case one of those eyes was stationed in Otelen, the highsec system adjacent to Huola. After a frustrating 30 minutes of watching an Amarrian capsuleer (Rudy U, infamous for cruising Republic high-security space searching for easy ganks) warn off potential targets from jumping into Huola, the unthinkable happened: our scout informed fleet of a neutral Navy Mega landing on gate, along with several other battleships in tow.

A desperate scramble to get into proper combat ships ensued, but the expectation of a engagement slowly faltered as our scout started reporting that the battleships were all from the same alliance: Noir, and that there were additional Noir capsuleers spiking the system. All of them in heavy combat ships… with no logistics in fleet… a sure sign of capital-backup only a drop away.

Out-gunned and out-numbered, The LateNite Fleet ™ quickly summoned reinforcements in the form of Iron Oxide., and a special surprise. Zenton Karvash quickly offered to drop his Archon carrier, which would supplement Silence’s Archon and Kobal’s Revelation. The rest of the fleet formed up in heavy armor-tanked battleships and prepared to fight.

As the fleet assembled the Noir gang left system and was reported on the Kamela gate in Kourmonen. A desperate scramble to form the fleet followed as The LateNite Fleet ™ and allies piled into Kourmonen to bring battle to the roaming mercenary gang. The call for bait of some sort was made and Vordak Kallager’s Abaddon was chosen (Sneaky Noob offered his ubertanked Proteus instead, but the Matari FC declared him to valuable to risk in such a manner).

Vordak jumped into Kamela and reported the Noir gang on gate and ready to rumble. His sacrifical Abaddon almost made it back to the gate but was annhilated by the Noir fleet, whom opened a cyno as The LateNite Fleet ™ battleship contingent jumped into system. The Noir capital backup was comprised of two Archons and two Thanatos. As the combined Militia fleet started shooting the Noir subcap ships, a Minmatar cyno was lit and the Matari capitals arrived in system.

Confusion reigned for the initial moments of the engagement as the four carriers of the Noir fleet managed to mitigate the storm deathfire that was being applied to the Noir subcaps by not only the Matari fleet but also by a contingent of Amarr Tornados, sniping from a distance in a pre-arranged truce brokered by the Minmatar FC. With only a single Megathron having died to the guns of the Republic and Imperial fleets, the fight was far from a clear cut victory for either side. It was here that Galdornae of K.POW, neuter extraordinaire, quickly applied himself with is dual neuting Apocalypses and within one minute had declared that the Noir Triage Archon was capped out. Despite an Autoz Fleet ‘Phoon being blasted into bits, the Matari FC called for max damage on the triaged Archon, and with it’s capacitor empty it was unable to counter the DPS of the combined militia fleets.

The second Noir Archon went down like a five-dollar hooker, followed by a Navy Megathron getting assploded and then a Dominix was implod’d into a ball of domi-goo as well. With half of their capital logistics now floating spacejunk and out of the fight and their own attempts to kill more Matari spaceboats being held at bay by the logistical skills of Zenton and Silence, the Noir gang tossed in the towel and their battleships started warping away and jumping out.

There was however, the matter of the two Thanatos still on the battlefield that had no way of escaping. Their support fleet gone and surrounded by a large fleet of very hostile hostiles, the first Thanatos put up a valiant effort to stay alive that was ultimately in vain. Less than 10 minutes into the fight, the second Thanatos died in spectacular balls of deathfire.

The field was quickly looted, with multiple cap mods scooped along with a large number of fighters. The Amarr held up their end of the truce, warping off with a salute in local comms. As the killmails were posted much commentary was shared about the highly questionable fits.

All in all, it was a highly satisfactory fight for the underestimated lowsec hellions that comprise the various Faction Warfare corporations/alliances. For the much vaunted mercenaries of Noir, despites claiming “op success”, The Late Nite News ™ find it hard to believe that the engagement was contemplated as a victory.

EDIT: Someone in an Abaddon recorded a video of the fight. Here it is. That sexy voice you hear giving orders is our FC.

This article was written with a special dedication to Sharra Savente, former IFW capsuleer, whom as of today has retired from the spacelanes of New Eden to a life of peace. Godspeed Sharra, it was a pleasure and an honor. You will be missed.

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And thus concludes today’s article, which due to a malfunctioning mouse and a metric fuckton of work was delayed for almost three days. If you have any complaints go mate with rusty barb-wire fence.

As usual, Sneaky Noob is a sucker for a redhead in leather panties. Send him some or send him ISK or send him both.

Requests for news coverage or interviews are unwelcome. But ask anyways.

YOU HAZ BEEN PUFFL’D!!

YOU HAZ BEEN PUFFL’D!!

Late Night News: Battle Report

Hello Readers, Followers and fellow Facepalmers!!

I welcome you to a new installment of your favorite newsletter/blog/something to read while shooting a POCO.

One change that our staff has decided on for this new format is that battle reports will be posted individually, just to keep things interesting. That said, enjoy.

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Small Gang Warfare 101 -  LateNite Fleet Awesomeness ™

As many of our readers know, the members of The LateNite Fleet ™ are above-average small gang PvPer’s as well as excellent at embroidery too. As such, your standard member of The LateNite Fleet ™ is not very good at being anything resembling orderly conduct in battle. The little organization they get is from the promise of a) a good juicy kill or b) the possibility of a halfway decent fight usually concluding with one’s own demise in a ball of deathfire.

Such was the case a couple days ago when a number of The LateNite Fleet ™ were out and about trying to find some targets to kill. Galdornae of K.POW started scouting out some targets in the Bleak Lands system of Kamela. After attempting to scan down some strategic cruisers that were running a deadspace complex he called in for assistance, the Tengus warped away and exited system. Collective sadfaces were shared by the fleet.

The LateNite Fleet ™, never ones to say “fuck ISK” ran the complex and then started looking for targets again. Another report led the fleet to Sosala, one jump over from Kamela in another attempt to take out another plex-runner in a strategic cruiser. As the fleet components prepared themselves a call came out on comms:

"wartarget spike in kourm… have a couple BC’s on scan… landing on gate, it’s pred and shalee’s group, looks like they are out for a fight"

At this point the Matari fleet was composed of a couple ‘Canes, a Proteus, a Lachesis, a Pilgrim and a couple other cruisers and frigates. Landing on a BC gang that outguns and outnumbers your current fleet composition is never a good idea.

Fuck “good ideas”.

The valiant and courageous Matari capsuleers warped to the Kourmonen/Kamela gate itching for combat. As they landed and started engaging the Crusader horde the Golden Fleet of Imperial loyalitst promptly started to… warp away. Thanks to the skill (or lack thereof) of The LateNite Fleet ™ a single Harbinger was caught and killed.

With the Amarr fleet safely docked in the 24 Imperial Crusade station in Kamela the search was out for more stuffs to blast in the face with pew. Reports of a wartarget Armageddon waiting to jump into Huola from high security space took The LateNite Fleet ™ back into their home system and over to the Otelen gate. When it became obvious that camping the gate with HIC’s and T3’s was a dead givaway that a gank was to be attempted, The LateNite Fleet ™ vacated the stargate and the Amarr ‘Geddon jumped in… and it’s travel fit of multiple warp core stabalizers allowed it to get past the single remaining tackle ship on the gate and warp to station.

Dejected by the loss of a killmail, The LateNite Fleet ™ started to spread out again in search of targets… it was at this moment that the Golden Fleet of Pred/Shalee decided to undock and try and fight again, but only after complaining about The LateNite Fleet ™ bringing an Armageddon to a BC fleet… the very same ‘Geddon that The LateNite Fleet ™ was attempting to catch minutes earlier.

After scrambling and re-forming into high-dps shield tanked battle crusiers and supplemented by a single Scimitar piloted by IFW’s Rothgr Bronn because “I’m an asshole”, The LateNite Fleet ™ warped away from the Otelen gate to engage the Crusader Horde, finally catching up on the Lamaa gate in the system of Kourmonen.

As is customary, the Amarr refused to engage right off the bat and their BC gang jumped into Lamaa and set up on the gate and prepared to fight The LateNite Fleet ™. The bloodthirsty Matari freedom fighters, blinded by the desire to explode ships with deathfire, did not think twice about jumping into Lamaa and applying said deathfire in and around the faces of the Amarr fleet.

Carnage and explosions ensued. The nimble and hard-hitting shield ‘Canes and Drakes of The LateNite Fleet ™ tore apart the battlecruisers of the Amarr, and the addition of Corax Lorn, CEO of Galdmart, into fleet (piloting an Armageddon, cause well “they wanted a ‘Geddon so here is the ‘Geddon…”) finished tipping the scales in favor of The LateNite Fleet ™ and prompted the Amarrian FC to sound the retreat.

Soulless Brutor’s Talos and Shalee Lianne’s Arty-Cane managed to escape, the former due to his complete inability to commit to a fight and the latter thanks to Sneaky Noob over-overheating his warp disruptor in an attempt to catch his Amarrian Mistress.

As the field was being cleared, The Late Night News ™ editor-in-chief and K.POW personality was convo’d by Soulless:

Sneaky Noob > wat
Soulless Brutor > btw stop priming me
Soulless Brutor > ffs not even fc
Soulless Brutor > >.>
Sneaky Noob > dude
Sneaky Noob > talos
Sneaky Noob > dps and no tank
Soulless Brutor > so
Sneaky Noob > so kill it first?
Sneaky Noob > kinda same though when we shot the brutix?
Soulless Brutor > so not
Sneaky Noob > oh ok
Sneaky Noob > my bad
Soulless Brutor > btw keep ur same fleet
Soulless Brutor > we r reshipping
Soulless Brutor > even numbers
Soulless Brutor > and comp
Sneaky Noob > uhm no
Soulless Brutor > feel free to bring the logi
Soulless Brutor > um yes
Sneaky Noob > Ryven Krennel > commencing blueballs in 3…2…1
Soulless Brutor > thats him not fleet
Sneaky Noob > we’re in station and are now gloating about out awesomeness
Soulless Brutor > lols

The first comment reminded our editoral staff of that scene from “The Patriot” where General Cornwallis requests Mel Gibson to “refrain from targeting our officers” as warfare is a civilized activity or some bullshit like that.

As to the question of why the Talos was called a primary target, the truth is that LateNite Fleet Commanders ™ do not call targets based on personal bias, color of the ship hull or the offensiveness of the capsuleer’s name. Instead a complex equation of DPS/Tank/Damage Dealt/Annoyance Factor is used to decide on what targets should be shot and in what order. The exact formula is classifed, but The Late Night News ™ correspondants were able to extract the following from an unnamed source:

"if it’s got deeps and a paper-bag tank, it’s gonna die asap cause… well… it needs to die. oh, and fuck falcons they die too cause FUCK ECM…"

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That is all for this post. If you have any comments, feel free to keep them to yourselves. If you have ISK to donate or would like to provide our editorial staff or correspondants with anything, contact Sneaky Noob. He prefers leather over lace at the moment.

If you would like to dispute this battle report, apply your forehead to your desk vigorously until you pass out.

Finally, we would like to thank Kuan Yida (HUANG) and Susan Black (K.POW) for their support. Both of them have very well written and highly entertaining blogs that can be found here:

@GamerChick42 - Susan’s Blog

Random Post’s From Auga - Kuan’s Blog

Late Nite News Flash - Alliance News

Hello Readers!

We’re back!

Here is the News! Enjoy.

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Welcoming: Late Night Alliance

So, for you retards that live under rocks and/or have been AFK for the past month, several of the leading US-timezone Minmatar Militia corporations composed The LateNite Fleet ™ have unifed themselves and formed up under the single banner of Late Night Alliance.

Originally formed by Silence IKillyouu and his corporation The Innocent Criminals, Late Night Alliance (GHEY) was founded on the guiding principals of a) shoot everything always b) there is nothing wrong with red-flashy and c) the leroy. Late Night Alliance as such has quickly expanded to include such legendary corporations such as:

We here at The LateNite Fleet ™ would like to emphasize that Late Night Alliance is a communal effort, and as such there are certain individuals that deserve some extra recognition and we here at The LateNite Fleet ™ would like mention them:

  1. Silence - Actually made the alliance. Thank you.
  2. Galdornae - After an intense brainstorming session, the name of the alliance was born.
  3. Sneaky Noob - Oh hey, we need a ticker… oh hey, what about [GHEY]?
  4. Muskells - Posted this pic. A legend is born.
  5. Vordak - Transformed said pic into an awesome logo.
  6. Siggy - Organizational Guru and Forum Lord.
  7. Manos - Spiritual Leader.
  8. Bahamut - Fearless Battle Commander.

As such, late night US timezone will never be the same. Welcome Late Night Alliance, may the wind be in your sails… or solar panels. Or whatever. And the Puffins shall prevail!!!!

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That is all for tonight, if you have any ISK that you don’t need forward it to The Late Nite News ™ care of Sneaky Noob. He also appreciates a strict Dominatrix from time to time. Send both if you really like him.

All comments are welcome but will be ignored and may or may not be noticed. Give it a try, you might get lucky.

RIP Icy Hawt

Welcome back faithful readers of the Icy Hawt! We apologize for our long and painful absence and are very happy to have returned… however…

Due to a number of technical reasons, the Icy Hawt will not longer be published (mainly I cannot remember the login, password nor the email under which I registered it) and has been discontinued.

However, this is not the end!!

We have opened a new site with more awesome and STUFF. Stay tuned for updates!

In addition, the old site is still alive. OLD LINK WITH OLD ICY HAWTNESS.